I have been remiss in posting recently. I want to write, but my brain is too exhausted to string sentences together. There's lots to talk about everyday, but it's hard to find time to sit down and write. When I finally do, I don't know where to begin, so I just stop. It is impossible to think while the baby is fussing, even if Chris is taking care of him, like he is right now.
Dylan slept okay last night until 5:30 am when he woke up and wouldn't go back down after being fed and changed. Chris relieved me around 7 and got him to go down before he went to work, but he was back up in a an hour. I changed and fed him again and he played on the floor, fussing, while I tried to sleep on the couch. I finally put him in the swing, where he fussed for a while and finally fell asleep around 10:30. He then slept til noon, when I woke him up so we could meet another mommy and baby for lunch. (That part was lovely, and definitely the best part of my day.) Then I ran a quick errand on the way home. But Dylan wouldn't go down for a nap, even though he was exhausted.
He can roll over and over now. He made it around the living room quite a bit today. But he kept fussing and fussing, on his back or his front. This was after hours of trying to get him to go down for a nap all afternoon -- in the crib, in the swing, in my arms... He's deliriously sleepy. He rubs his eyes, laughs at everything I do, and then starts crying whenever I try to put him down. Chris asked me if i wanted to leave the house for a while. I burst into tears and said "I just want to be allowed to not think!"
It is so exhausting trying to constantly comfort someone. It's like doing back to back therapy sessions all day long. But I feel guilty about sitting down to zone out, watch tv, go online, etc., because the housework's not done and dinner's not planned.
The baby finally passed out on Chris's shoulder a few minutes ago. Chris also suggested that we allow someone else to make us dinner tonight. Just one more day trying to be the mom I want to be and not quite making it. But that's okay. I just have to make it through -- it doesn't have to be pretty.
And he's back up again. *sigh*
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Oh Beth, I so feel for you! It sounds like he must be working on something developmentally. I would suggest reading a sleep book or two. You might get some ideas on helping Dylan to sleep more consistently and easily during the day. While the method itself was counterproductive for Linus, I found pantly's no cry sleep solution really helpful. I promise you that sanity will return when Dylan settles into a regular sleep schedule again. The book that officially worked miracles for us was ferber's solve your child's sleep problems.
ReplyDeleteOh Beth, I'm sorry things are rough. My first thought is teething or ear infection. On the other hand, William was never a good sleeper... until age 2. No matter what the cause, it is perfectly okay to zone out for a bit. Forget the dishes and the laundry. They'll be there tomorrow. Trust me, I know. ;)
ReplyDeleteEvery time this would happen with one of the boys it would turn out they were going through a big growth spurt - something I wouldn't realize until they were through it and sleeping and calm again. Fooled me every time!
ReplyDeleteDo not worry about being the perfect mom and keeping a perfect house. There will be plenty of time for that some day and anyone who has ever had a baby understands what you are going through!
Thanks for the suppport, guys. I think he might have been running a slight teething fever last night. So I gave him baby ibuprofen for the first time. He slept from 10 to 3am, and then went right back down and slept again until 7. I woke up feeling fairly sane. He was fussy all morning again, so we both got a nap while he was in the swing. Then I just drove him around all afternoon while he slept. For the moment, he's playing happily in his crib.
ReplyDeleteRemember the poem Grandma embroidered for me?
ReplyDelete"Cleaning and scrubbing can wait til tomorrow...we've learned to our sorrow...so quiet down cobwebs...dust go to sleep... I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep!!"
Forget the housework. Anyone who complains will be offered the chance to take over for you 24/7 for a week.
I love you.